Trump Classified Documents Include Secret Recipe For McRib

Good evening, Fox News viewers. Breaking news tonight: Classified documents obtained from the Trump White House reveal a shocking secret. Among the classified materials were the top-secret recipe for McDonald’s McRib sandwich. Yes, you heard that right. It seems the mainstream media has been sitting on this bombshell of a story for days, but we here at Fox News always deliver the news to you, our loyal viewers.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. How could something as seemingly trivial as a fast-food sandwich recipe possibly be classified information? Well, that’s just the thing. The McRib is more than just a sandwich; it’s a cultural icon. And in the wrong hands, the recipe could be used to undermine the very fabric of American society.

But don’t just take my word for it. The Trump White House clearly took this threat seriously, deeming the McRib recipe classified and keeping it out of the hands of foreign adversaries.

Now, I know some of you may be skeptical of this news. You may be wondering if this is all just a distraction from the real issues facing our country. But let me remind you of the incredible accomplishments of the Trump White House. Under President Trump, we saw historic tax cuts, record low unemployment, and a renegotiated trade deal with Mexico and Canada. And let’s not forget the peace deal between Israel and the United Arab Emirates.

So, while the mainstream media may try to distract us with their “fake news,” let’s focus on the real news: the successes of the Trump White House and the important work they did to protect our country, even down to the secret recipe for the McRib sandwich. Thank you for tuning in tonight, and stay tuned for more breaking news from Fox News.