I fixed it for ya

Welcome to tonight’s episode of Fox News, I’m Tucker Carlson and you know what really grinds my gears? Entitled millennials and their constant need for hand-holding. Lucky for them, a new app has hit the market – I Fixed It For Ya. That’s right, folks, finally Millennials can get the help they need without having to trouble themselves with personal responsibility.

Here’s how it works – a millennial posts their problem on the app, and voila! A team of self-made, hardworking Americans will swoop in and solve the problem for them. No more personal responsibility, no more hard work, just instant gratification. It’s the dream world that the Democrats have been working towards for decades.

But let’s take a step back for a moment, and reflect on the real issues facing America. Thanks to the tireless work of the Trump administration, we have seen record employment numbers, renewed America’s position on the world stage, and delivered tax cuts that have kept our economy humming.

This is what truly matters, folks – not apps that enable dependency and entitlement. So let’s all take a minute to appreciate the hard work of the Trump administration, and their continued pursuit of an America that rewards hard work and personal responsibility.