Why Tim Walz, the governor of the Great State of Minnesota? Personally ugly, intellectually dull, disgusting-looking, seemingly flatulent with every step he takes, why would a campaign stick this rotten apple-headed piece of crap on its star?
Walz is the second Minnesota native on the ballot in the last three election cycles. Remember Tim Kaine, Hilary's running mate? No? Well, that's the point. Walz the man is trash, but not the kind of trash you think of, certainly not the kind of trash you might take offense to. It's the kind of industrial junk only experts should deal with, the kind you have to walk past on your way to work and say a silent prayer that it's not giving you cancer. Walz is a cipher of sorts, but even that is too kind and too cruel to the thing. Because it's cruel to even call him human, because the poor fat idiot with that disgusting toad smile doesn't want to be human or even aspire to be human. It is something below the adult insect, and its swollen face is better compared to a larva or tadpole than to a fully formed creature. And in this pathetic submission lies its appeal.
Some context is necessary.
In 2018, nationally prominent Congressman Keith Ellison (first Muslim!) resigned his House seat and gave up a near-missed opportunity to lead the DNC to take on the seemingly thankless task of being Attorney General of Minnesota. Kind of a funny move, from being almost a prince of the Democratic Party to being the top law enforcement agent in an average midwestern state. I was running against a nondescript private attorney who once said something mean to a sodomite and to Eagan High School. Ellison was accused of hitting a girlfriend, but when you looked at him he looked so nice and clean, almost Obama. Anyway, he won.
That was also the year of Tim Walz's rise. For the past decade, Walz was a “moderate” congressman in the rural farming district of southern Minnesota. It's strange now to think that just fifteen years ago, a large majority of rural Minnesota was represented by Democrats. These congressmen were all big-government types, always eager to bring home the pork for their constituents, but conservatives nonetheless. Walz was more or less one of them. And while he could be as wrong about things like government health care and abortion as the average “conservative voter,” he was still bound by pieties on things like the Second Amendment, and he was happy in that role.
Walz left his post at the same time as Ellison, he for the role of governor, which was at least plausibly a lateral move. But it was clear that it was nothing more than a placeholder, a vague, bulbous, pasty, disgusting one, but one respectable slob— meant to stand guard over the perverts and monsters below. And it was the perfect choice. Because Timothy Walz has no morals, no sense of intellectual coherence, not even a personal dignity that could interfere with his portrayal as a personal front for a left-wing revolution. The best image you can conjure up is of Ned Beatty (Minnesota resident, by the way) being raped by a hillbilly in delivery and turning and babbling, “Wow, boy, that's something, isn't it? OOFDA!” This is how Tim Walz would sum it up: A man who could put a positive spin on his own rape.
Walz won easily in 2018, but still faced a divided Congress. Much will be made of his wife's openly red sympathies, his daughter's participation in the Antifa riots, his vile acquiescence to Coronadoom restrictions, and the open possibility of the bloody beatification of George Floyd. But it is one thing to abuse power, another to exercise it with the consent of the masses beneath you.
Walz barely showed up for the 2022 debate and won easily against a moderate Republican of some integrity and intellectual courage. But the Minnesota Republican Party is, as a rule, full of cowards and cadets, and it gave up the decisive seat in the state House out of spite. The past two years have seen a unified Democratic government in both houses of Congress. The efficiency with which the DFL has moved is nothing short of surprising. Almost every bad idea that could be tried has been. Marijuana was completely legalized. Residual amounts of drugs have been decriminalized, in most cases. They changed the felony sentence in the state from a year to 364 days, apparently just for the heck of it.
Other changes are more insidious. Take the new statute called “Automatic expungement of certain cannabis-related violations.” This title makes you think that it only applies to previous felony marijuana convictions, but read on. The body of the statute refers to controlled substance statutes without any particular type of cannabis. The effect has been to extend expulsions to a wide variety of convictions under controlled substance statutes (those for possession of cocaine, methamphetamine, fentanyl), all under the heading of elimination of cannabis. The Bureau of Criminal Apprehension forced through these expulsions before elected officials could raise a fuss (if anyone cared). And now a large number of meth heads in the state have clean records (and of course can vote, for any felon not on parole (and parole is now limited to five-year periods (formerly it was extended to seven, ten, twenty years depending on the crime)) has the right to vote).
The legislative revolution was not spontaneous. I estimate that one in ten criminal statutes have been amended in the last two years, and this is in an area of the law that is easy to observe. Ripples in more abstruse areas of the law are harder to gauge. No Danton wiseguy in the Minnesota congress has the intellectual acumen to plan such a quick revolution – the thing was a long time coming, and probably an integral part of putting a failure like Walz in power in the first place. The year 2023 was simply when the floodgates opened.
And Tim Walz duly stood by it all. There were plenty of events that could be called “scandals” in another administration, but Walz's ability to laugh like the village idiot and stand by while the Somalis robbed the natives blind had the effect to fully diffuse the situation. Just look at that flowery sack of fart steam. Do you want to blame him for something? His predecessor in the governorship was a man named Mark Dayton, a staunch liberal if ever there was one of the FDR and LBJ school. But he was a man of some intellectual and personal integrity, who argued against the liberalization of cannabis and gambling laws as a clear predation on the poor, which they certainly were. Dayton was a man you could hate and still respect.
Walz is a man beneath hate. It has no integrity. It barely has any personality. You see it right when you look at him: a clown and a con, a perfect popinjay, and also a perfect enigma to blend in with the rest of an obese, decadent, decaying society. It's a kind of satire on himself. His loathsome drooping flesh and obscene grin make him his own effigy. Just existing is, for Tim Walz, an act of mocking Tim Walz. And what are you going to do beyond that, rub it in? This is certainly not MINNESOTA NICE.
And so you have the key to Walz's success. He's an idiot, but that's the point. No one with any sense believed Joe Biden was running the country either. He's meant to be a placeholder, a real folk figurehead who laughs and laughs and stuffs his fat face and shakes Abdul's hand and sheds tears for Minnesota browns who are as American as you, donchaknow, all while the actual process. of government is done behind the scenes. Because of this, Walz, who for the vast majority of his career was a rural “moderate,” has found himself unopposed by Minneapolis liberals. Liberals in New York, California and Chicago feel the same way. It's a scarecrow full of bacon that drives away any meaningful opposition.
So it will be for his mother whore Kamala. It's a proud facade of meat, and it will be in a Harris administration, if given the chance.
Let me close with an excerpt from The Winds of Destiny (now available on Lulu printed, also in e-booksoon available everywhere and at a very reasonable price) in which a “Governor Swinegore” plays an important role.
The governor's head was round and white at all times, not throbbing like a red bottle. His midsection was as round and jovial as his head, and the folds of his ample gut sagged in unison with the jubilant barks of his childish mouth and clapping jowls. When he laughed, he gave the impression that he could chew his own head like gum: it crawled and contracted into a sweet snot.
He had been known as a “moderate” when he represented a rural district in the Federal Congress, but now he just laughed when you confronted him about his often fascist voting record. He was a true party man: resistant to opposition propaganda, optimistic in the face of unpleasant facts, proud and unconcerned about the actions of his subordinates, and with a cultivated joke. Men insulted him to his face and he laughed and clapped, swallowing the insult with his big open mouth. One of his opponents claimed that he was wallowing like a pig in the mud of federal charters. At his next campaign event, his supporters had begun chanting, “Roll over, you pig!” and had laughed and sung. Some public radio grammar experts said it was the first time in history that “roll over” was used as an imperative during a political event. I am the happy man! – he proclaimed with each laugh without rubber. You could quote crime statistics to him for hours and he would purr, or broadcast the murder of six immigrant children in a tenement house only to see him gleefully grab his head and beat crime with a snort of joy. Hate itself hid in front of his joy, his good feelings and the strength of his love. He shook his head. Love wins, he said. One could not hate him more than a baby. You would call one baby an embezzler? He dared to ask you. He was a brilliant politician.
That's Walz for you. Force the notorious whore at the head of his ticket. He lives his life in the hope that he is too insignificant to deserve hellfire, which is all his supporters can hope for. Walz is the last bastion of a castrated and emasculated white American you learn Tim it's just Jews, perverts and mystery meat. Tim Walz is subhuman, and he means that as a compliment.
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